These Are the Most Common Sexual Fantasies
Sexual fantasizing is a notoriously closeted subject. This silence is problematic, however, as it reinforces the notion that fantasizing is abnormal, and that those who do so are deviants. However, a new study shows that -- far from being abnormal -- sexual fantasizing is quite common.
Until now, no large-scale study in the general population has been conducted to identify the prevalence of specific fantasies. Researchers Christian Joyal, Amélie Cossette, and Vanessa Lapierre sought to fill that information void.
"Our main objective was to specify norms in sexual fantasies, an essential step in defining pathologies," Joyal said. "And as we suspected, there are a lot more common fantasies than atypical fantasies.
Joyal, Cossette, and Vanessa asked 1,516 participants from a large city in Quebec. Subjects were 52.7% female and 47.3% male, with an average age of around thirty. Participants anonymously completed an in-depth, online questionnaire to gauge the prevalence of certain sexual fantasies, as well as their intensity of interest in each.
Here are the twenty most common sexual fantasies for men and women:
- Having sex in a romantic location like on a deserted beach. (84.9%)
- Having sex in an unusual place, such as in the office or a public toilet. (81.7%)
- Taking part in fellatio or cunnilingus. (78.5%)
- Giving fellatio. (72.1%)
- Being masturbated by my partner. (71.4%)
- Masturbating my partner. (68.1%)
- Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse. (66.3%)
- Being dominated sexually. (64.6%)
- Making love openly in a public place. (57.3%)
- Having sex with more than three people, both men and women. (56.5%)
- Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure. (52.1%)
- Having sex with a star or a well-known person. (51.7%)
- Having sex with an unknown person. (48.9%)
- Dominating someone sexually (46.7%)
- Watching two women make love. (42.4%)
- Tying someone up in order to obtain sexual pleasure. (41.7%)
- That my partner ejaculates on me. (41.3%)
- Having homosexual sex. (36.9%)
- Having sex with two women. (36.9%)
- Being masturbated by an acquaintance. (36.8%)
- Taking part in fellatio or cunnilingus. (87.6%)
- Having sex with two women. (84.5%)
- Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse. (83.4%)
- Having sex in an unusual place, such as in the office or a public toilet. (82.3%)
- Watching two women make love. (82.1%)
- Ejaculating on my sexual partner. (80.4%)
- Having sex in a romantic location like on a deserted beach. (78.4%)
- Giving cunnilingus. (78.1%)
- Masturbating my partner. (76.4%)
- Having sex with more than three people, all women. (75.3%)
- Having sex with an unknown person. (72.5%)
- Being masturbated by my partner. (71.7%)
- Having sex with a women with very large breasts (68.6%)
- Making love openly in a public space. (66.1%)
- Masturbating an acquaintance. (65.9%)
- Being masturbated by an acquaintance. (64.7%)
- Having anal sex. (64.2%)
- Watching someone undress without him or her knowing (63.4%)
- Being masturbated by an unknown person. (62.5%)
- Masturbating an unknown person. (62.4%)
"This study indicates that there are very few statistically unusual sexual fantasies," the researchers noted. But some were noticeably rare. Fewer than 10% of respondents fantasized about wearing clothing from the opposite sex or urinating on a partner or being urinated on. Fewer than 3% of respondents reported fantasizing about having sex with an animal or a child.
The researchers encourage a measure of caution when interpreting the numbers. Previous research has shown that volunteers in sexually-focused studies tend to be more open than people who refuse to participate in such studies, so that may have biased the results. Moreover, since the survey was entirely conducted online, the researchers were not able to visually confirm the subjects' age and gender.
Source: Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A. and Lapierre, V. (2014), What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?. Journal of Sexual Medicine. doi: 10.1111/jsm.12734